Bruno’s Eulogy

Was he the best dog in the world, or the worst?

I guess that is something that will always be up for debate…between my parents, my sister and I, and our numerous friends and relatives, who were scratched, bitten and mauled by him.

I guess I am getting a little ahead of myself here.Let me start at the beginning. 

He was scared for exactly the amount of time it took to get him home. After which, he went about peeing all over the place and marking his territory. 

He did miss him mom that night. But that was the last time we ever heard him whine or cry.

We were told it will take a little while for him to get used to us and show his true nature. If by “little while” they meant exactly 8 hours, they were right on the money. The very next morning, he began laying down the law. 

• You pet me, when I tell you to pet me.
• You don’t call me, I call you.
• You give your food when I tell you to give me your food. (I don’t think he has ever begged in his life.)

All of us gave our best shot at training him. An unsuspecting trainer was also hired. But he had already decided, “I am potty trained and that’s about all you’re going to get.”

Then I read somewhere about positive reinforcement. I started by giving him a treat every time I called him and he deigned to come to me. That whole theory blew up in my face, when he stopped coming to me until he saw food in my hand.

I remember my sister trying to play catch with him and almost getting mauled in the process. See, he thought she was trying to take the ball away from him. That day, we all learnt an important lesson – Everything in the house first belongs to him and him only.

Then there was the time he hit my dad with his paw because he moved away from him in his sleep. In his defense, it was Diwali and he only ever felt safe with my dad.

And once, my dad caught him using a street dog to smuggle meat for him. Bruno is probably one of the very few vegetarian dogs in the world. While we were proud of that fact, he obviously wasn’t. (Don’t worry, he was very healthy and buff. My friends refused to come home because they were scared they’ll get mauled by the ‘lion’.)

Reading all this, I guess you would be leaning toward the bad/worst dog side. My aunt used to say,” He is badly behaved because you never treat him like a pet.”

But the thing is, he decided how he wanted to be treated. He didn’t think of himself different from my sister or me, except maybe that he was above us in the family hierarchy.

I guess he was like my older brother – Arrogant, Annoying and Sweet.

What I didn’t tell you before was, he used to come to me only when he chose to but that somehow coincided perfectly with the times that I needed him. How he knew this, I will never know. But there has never been a time he wasn’t there to console me, either by telling me to pet him or ordering me to give him my food or just by sitting beside me. And I knew things would be fine…

…Except now.

Bruno was born 24th October, 2000, came to us, 23rd December, 2000. He left us on the night of 4th November, 2011. 

May his soul remain arrogant as ever in his next life.